Sunday, December 18, 2011

New Product for all our furred friends!


New Product for all our furred friends!

Are you tired of using the 'backspace' key all the time
when you hit all those small human sized keys with your paws?
Do you find that stupid 'mouse' thing boring?
Well, guess what? Heidi and I have just received our first
and only shipment of Dog Byte Keyboards. We had these
manufactured to our exact specifications. Listen to what you get! 

1. Each key is a full two inches wide with 1 inch space between letters.
Yes my pups, no more hitting two keys at once. Those days
are gone forever. Naturally, this baby takes up some real estate,
it's a full 4 X 8 feet!

2. Comes equipped with the Heidi & Max's exclusive 'drool tray'
conveniently located in the front.

3. Uses our 'live mouse'. Long tail version 3.6. And the great feature
is you can order replacements!

4. All cables and plugs are included! This bone colored beauty
is Windows 95 compatible. It is truly 'Plug and Bite'

OK... now stop panting... here's how to order!

Go fetch your master's wallet or pocket book. Look for any
pieces of paper that have pictures of funny looking humans
in the middle and two digit numbers printed in the corners that end
in zeros. Stuff as many as you can fit into an envelope and address it to

Heidi & Max's Laboratory for Advanced Stick Studies
Lund, Sweden

In the US send to-

Heidi & Max's Cookie Foundation
New Haven, Vermont

Remember... these won't last... so order NOW.... yes... GO FETCH!
Offer expires Dec 31, 1997. Puppies under 8 months old must have a
note from their mothers. Void where prohibited. California puppies
add appropriate sales tax. Sorry... we cannot send 'Live Mouse'
to Hawaii. Satisfaction guaranteed or twice your drool back!

Your cyberpup friends,
Heidi and Max 




 


Friday, December 9, 2011

A RESCUE GROUP'S ANSWERING MACHINE





RESOURCES FOR FINANCIAL HELP FOR VETERINARY BILLS

You don't have to be on a fixed income, such as receiving SSI, SSI-D, Retirement benefits to realize that if you have a pet there may come a time when one needs a substantial amount of money to pay for veterinary medical bills, which, lets face it, can sometimes be staggering.  If one loves the pet(s), one wants to do everything possible to keep their pet healthy, but what if something comes up, some medical issue that is perhaps catastrophic and costly and one just doesn't have the financial resources to pay the bill?
 There are some financial resources one can turn to in such a case, and I've compiled a listing that may be of help to you.

All Pets Wellness Foundation
http://allpetswellnessfoundation.org/


Animal Friends Rescue Project Website:
http://www.animalfriendsrescue.org/financialassistance.html

Description:
Financial Assistance for Pets
Often animals are put down or suffer needlessly because their owners cannot afford expensive surgery or emergency vet visits. Companion animal owners must often make the difficult decision to put an animal down or neglect urgent medical needs because of the costs involved. While costs are an inevitable part of the responsibility of owning companion animals, the reality is that many pet owners find themselves in the position of not being able to provide much needed, life saving and life enhancing medical care for their pets.
We have provided links to several programs that help pet owners cover emergency medical expenses or other lifesaving medical treatment.
    •    AAHA Helping Pets Fund
    •    Angels 4 Animals
    •    Care Credit: No Interest Payment Plan for Veterinary Care
    •    Cats in Crisis
    •    Feline Veterinary Emergency Assistance Program (FVEAP)
    •    Help-A-Pet
    •    IMOM
    •    Labrador Life Line
    •    Shakespeare Animal Fund
    •    The Pet Fund
    •    United Animal Nations - Lifeline Program
    •    United Animal Nations - Resource ListAn extensive list of additional organizations that give assistance for specific breeds, specific diseases, or by state.

    AAHA Helping Pets Fund:
    http://www.aahahelpingpets.org/
As the benevolent arm of the American Animal Hospital Association (AAHA), the AAHA Foundation seeks to improve the lives of pets. The AAHA Helping Pets Fund works with AAHA-accredited veterinary practices to identify pets in need. Accredited practices may then apply for assistance from the Fund for emergency and non-elective treatment of abandoned pets and pets whose owners are facing financial hardship.

Angels4Animals | Guardian Angels For Animals:
http://www.angels4animals.org/index.html
 117,000 Pets areEuthanized or ForfeitedEvery Week in the United States
The true measure of a society is the care that it provides to the innocents and less fortunate. Most Americans are unaware that 117,000 pets are euthanized or forfeited every week in the United States. The reasons behind this high number may surprise you. Thousands of pets are put to sleep by reluctant pet owners, who are faced with financial challenges that prohibit them from rendering emergency and necessary medical care for their animals. Veterinary care can be very costly often requiring hundreds, or thousands of dollars. Unexpected veterinary bills have caused many pet owners, struggling to make ends meet, to make painful decisions involving the life of their pet. Pet insurance cannot solve this problem as it is generally expensive and offers only limited coverage.  Angels4Animals, a non-profit organization and a program of Inner Voice Community Services, has a mission to serve as the guardian angel of animals whose caretakers find themselves in difficult financial situations. At Angels4Animals we believe that animal owners should not have to say goodbye to the animals that they love. Our work is accomplished in conjunction with veterinary clinics across the country, eager to assist as many animals, and their owners, as possible. Our services range from financial aid to complete treatment to those pets and pet owners in need.  While pets and their human caretakers rely on us, we rely on the generosity and support of our donors. We ask for your help in fulfilling the promise of our society in caring for animals that otherwise would go without treatment, or worse.

Care Credit: No Interest Payment Plan For Veterinary Care
http://www.carecredit.com/


Cats In Crisis:
http://www.catsincrisis.org/index.html
 Cats in Crisis Inc. is a 501(c)(3) non-profit
organization dedicated to helping
cats and kittens with special medical needs
receive the veterinary treatment they need to
live happy, healthy lives.


Feline Veterinary Emergency Assistance:
http://fveap.org/
Welcome to Feline Veterinary Emergency Assistance
We are a 501(c)(3) Nonprofit Charity Organization (EIN #16-1624014) that provides emergency financial assistance to cat and kitten guardians who are unable to afford veterinary services to save their companion when life-threatening illness or injury strikes.
Seniors, people with disabilities, people who have lost their job, Good Samaritans who rescue an injured or ill cat or kitten - any of these folks may need emergency financial assistance.
We also have a specialized dedicated fund (Kobi's Fund) for cats with Vaccine Associated Sarcoma (VAS) (also known as Injection Site Sarcoma).VAS is a group of cancers caused by vaccinations. Please see the Kobi's Fund Page for details.
We are not able to assist with routine exams, vaccinations, Insulin, or Spay/Neuter.
PLEASE NOTE: Contributions are down and we approve grants as funds  become available. We may or may not have funding at any given time. We apologize if we are unable to help.

Help A Pet:
http://www.help-a-pet.org/
Who We Help
    •    Physically and mentally challenged individuals
    •    Senior citizens
    •    Children of the working poor
For such people, pets provide a vital therapeutic aid to daily living, unconditional emotional attachment, and protection. Unfortunately, it is often those who need their pets most who face the fiercest financial obstacles to providing medical treatment for their beloved companions. Applicants must provide proof of income eligibility.
Each owner is asked to pay as much as they can towards the cost in order to spread our assistance to as many pets as possible. Cost-sharing with an applicant indicates the owner's commitment to their pet's well-being, and lets you know your donation is being used as efficiently and sensibly as possible.


IMOM:
http://www.imom.org/

"Helping people help pets". To better the lives of sick, injured and abused companion animals. We are dedicated to insure that no companion animal has to be euthanized simply because their caretaker is financially challenged.

To educate on the importance of spay and neuter in relation to proven health risks for intact animals. And to offer financial aid for spay and neuter to caretakers who cannot afford to have their pet spayed or neutered.


Labrador Life Line
http://www.labradorlifeline.org/

Labrador Life Line, Inc. is a 501(c)(3) Not for Profit Organization created to help owners or rescuers of Labrador Retrievers who are in need of financial assistance.

Shakespeare Animal Fund:
http://www.shakespeareanimalfund.org/

To many of us a $50.00 medical bill at the vet is nothing, but for an elderly person on a fixed income, a single mother, a student, and for many others, it's an impossibility.
There are many instances of elderly people doing without their own medicine or even food in order to care for their animals' medical needs.
So what do you do if you love your animal but can't afford to pay the bill?
Shakespeare Animal Fund, a non-profit charity was founded after the loss of a beloved Cocker Spaniel "Shakespeare". He died after a very costly illness, and in his memory this fund was founded to help others who might face financial problems while trying to save their pet. Let Shakespeare help you!
Also, each month SAF distributes 500 lbs of dog food and 400 lbs of cat food. We help anywhere from 150 to 200 people each month including deliveries. Sometimes these pets haven't had anything to eat in days when we rush them emergency food.
You can be a hero to people in need. Support the efforts of the Shakespeare Animal Fund with your donations of funding and of time.

The Pet Fund:
http://www.thepetfund.com/
The Pet Fund is a registered 501(c) 3 nonprofit association that provides financial assistance to owners of domestic animals who need veterinary care. Often animals are put down or suffer needlessly because their owners cannot afford expensive surgery or medical treatment. Companion animal owners must often make the difficult decision to put an animal down or neglect medical needs because of the costs involved.

Thousands of animals are sent to shelters and euthanized each year, many because of treatable medical conditions. While costs are an inevitable part of the responsibility of owning companion animals, The Pet Fund assists owners in covering medical costs beyond the normal expenses of vaccination, spay & neuter surgeries, food and routine veterinary care. Adopting a companion animal always involves both expense and commitment, and if owners have a resource to help with medical services, their animals can receive necessary care despite the financial burdens involved.

The purpose of the Pet Fund is to work towards a future where decisions about companion animal medical care need never be made on the basis of cost. Perhaps most importantly, we provide information to owners about preventative care, pet insurance programs, and financial services which will ensure that pet owners are able to develop financial resources on their own and avoid future emergencies through care and planning. Such information is often hard to find, and The Pet Fund provides a user-friendly, comprehensive starting place where all of these resources can be easily accessed.


United Animal Nations-Lifeline Program
(Now known as Red Rover)

http://www.uan.org/index.cfm?navid=28

The RedRover Relief program provides funding to Good Samaritans, animal rescuers and pet owners to help them care for animals in life-threatening situations. Learn more about our RedRover Relief grants and find out the eligibility requirements

United Animal Nations-Resource List
(Now known as Red Rover)

http://www.uan.org/index.cfm?navId=163#National_organizations

RedRover has compiled a comprehensive directory of organizations in the United States and Canada that can provide financial assistance with veterinary care.
This directory includes dozens of grant and loan programs and fundraising tools, and is the most comprehensive resource of its kind online.
This directory is provided as a resource. RedRover cannot guarantee that any of the organizations listed will be able to help in your specific situation, and RedRover does not endorse any of the listed veterinary clinics. Clinics are listed only if they have an emergency fund.



Ashley Fund (North Carolina)
http://www.ashleyfund.org/

New York Save
http://www.nysave.org/


Harrison Memorial(Colorado)
http://cvmf.org/displaycommon.cfm?an=1&subarticlenbr=27
------------------------------------------------------------
Other websites helpful for information about veterinary care for people who can't afford it:
Having Trouble Affording Veterinary Care?
http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/resources/tips/trouble_affording_veterinary_care.html

Help with vet and pet bills
http://www.needhelppayingbills.com/html/help_with_vet_and_pet_bills.html
Find resources, many of which are free, to get help with pet bills, including how to get grants and other assistance from the American Animal Hospital Association Helping Pets Fund. As most pet owners will eventually be faced with expensive, unexpected veterinary bills.

Assistance Programs:
http://www.pacc911.org/Assistance_Programs.html

Blind Dogs
This is a site that you can list your blind dog for a new home;
http://www.blinddogs.com/listing-info.htm
Blind Dog Rescue Alliance
http://www.blinddogrescue.com/

Guardian Angels For Soldiers
www.guardianangelsforsoldierspet.org
This organization works to be sure our service men and women are reunited with their pets.

---------------------

Other ideas for financial help with veterinary medical bills:

Chip-Ins
Here's another idea...many on-line friends will be more than willing to "chip-in" for veterinary medical expenses...many rescuers do this when they rescue a pet but have staggering vet bills...so..maybe do a chip-in yourself? Explain what you need it for...vet medical biils
One can set up a chip-in here
http://www.chipin.com/

Wish Upon A Hero website
Another possible resource is Wish Upon A Hero website
Wish Upon A Hero is a website that brings together people to help grant wishes big and small. No wish is too large, no hero is too small.
http://www.wishuponahero.com/




The Following are for California:
spay-neuter (S/N) medical (M)
ACTORS AND OTHERS FOR ANIMALS (S/N) (M) (818) 755-6045
ANIMAL HEALTH FOUNDATION (S/N) (562) 948-4979 ......seniors 65+ only, calls accepted Friday AM only     CATALYST FOR CATS (S/N) (805) 685-2862 ......Santa Barbara residents only      
CATS IN NEED OF HUMAN CARE (S/N) (909) 622-0121 ......Pomona residents only  
FRIENDS OF LONG BEACH ANIMALS 'SNIP' (S/N) (562) 988-SNIP ......Long Beach & Signal Hill only                L.A. ANIMAL SERVICES (S/N) (213) 473-8253 ......L.A. city residents only: Senior Citizens & Low Income (under $40,000)    
MERCY CRUSADE (S/N) (M) (818) 597-2926
PASADENA HUMANE SOCIETY (S/N) (626) 792-7171 x106 ......Pasadena, S. Pasadena, La Canada, San Marino, Sierra Madre,     ......& Arcadia residents only  
PET ASSISTANCE (toll-free number) (S/N) (M) (877) 772-9738
POPCO (S/N) (877) 44-POPCO ......San Bernardino & Riverside residents only (funds low 1/03)  
SAN FERNANDO, CITY OF (S/N) (818) 898-1227 ......San Fernando residents only      
SANTA MONICA SHELTER (S/N) (310) 458-8594 ......Santa Monica residents only  
SEAL BEACH ANIMAL CARE CENTER (S/N) (562) 430-4993 ......Specific Orange County residents only  
S.P.A.R.E. (S/N) (310) 377-2998 ......for cats belonging to low income residents in: Lennox,     ......Inglewood, Copton, Lawndale, Gardena, Wilmington & Carson only  
SPAY AND NEUTER ANIMAL NETWORK (S.P.A.N.) (S/N) (M) (805) 646-1919 ......Specific areas  
VENTURA COUNTY ANIMAL REG (S/N) (805) 388-4341 ......vouchers for s/n of cats & dogs: Ventura County only, in these cities:     ......Santa Paula, Fillmore, Thousand Oaks and Oxnard.
Pets in Need   http://www.petsinneed.org/Services.html

Friday, December 2, 2011

Top 10 Reasons Pit Bulls Can't Be Trusted

10. They will steal your spot on the couch while you are up getting a soda.

9. They will take the treat you give them and bury in the back yard like a paranoid crack head hiding their stash.

8. They will jump on your bed with muddy feet. Making you do the laundry...again!

7. They will lick visitors with an uncontrolled passion only they
understand.

6. They will cause children to smile.

5. They will make you feel horrible for not walking them by looking at you with deep sad eyes.

4. They will look at you like you committed a crime against them if you don't let them lick your ice cream bowl.

3. They will cause wide spread happiness in large group settings.

2. They will crack you up by shaking their butts so hard you think they are going to snap in half.

And the number one reason why you can't trust Pit Bulls...



1. They will steal your heart like a thief in the night, showing you complete and pure love that only a Pit Bull can show.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Through Another's Eyes

Animals...so content with so little.  So pure and uncomplicated.  Did you ever look at your dog and think, 'I'd like to have your life.'  Let's put on our rose colored glasses and look at the world through the eyes of a dog...

Things that I, the Dog, Must Remember


The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.
I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
I will not eat the cats’ food, before they eat it or after they throw it up.
I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.
I will not throw up in the car.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
“Kitty box crunchies,” although they are tasty, are not food.
I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
I will not chew my human’s toothbrush and not tell them.
I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside.
We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
I will not steal my Mom’s underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad’s laps.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for dad’s driver’s license and car registration.
I will not play tug-of-war with dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
I will not eat mint flavored dental floss out of the bathroom garbage—this will avoid having a string hanging out of my butt.
I will not use “roll around in the dirt” as an option after just getting a bath.
Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.
I will not hump on any person’s leg just because I thought it was the right thing to do.
I will not pass gas in my owners face while sleeping on the pillow next to their head.
I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
The toilet bowl is not a never-ending water supply and, just because the water is blue, it doesn’t mean it is cleaner.
I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
Suddenly turning around and smelling my butt can quickly clear a room.
The cat is not a squeaky toy so, when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing. 












Dog's Pet Peeves About Humans


  1. Blaming your farts on me is not funny... not funny at all!
  2. Yelling at me for barking.....I'M a friggin' dog, you moron!
  3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Whose walk is it anyway?
  4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose.
  5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Why do you think I chew up your stuff when you're not at home.
  6. That slight--of--hand, fake fetch throw. Oooooh. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain!
  7. Taking me to the vet for that "Big Snip," then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back there.
  8. Getting upset when I sniff your guests' crotches. Sorry, but a handshake will never be as good.
  9. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed I have fur? Idiot!
  10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. We both know the truth: you're jealous!








Food for the soul...

In my old neighborhood there were two homeless men that always spent their days together outside a nearby 7/11 with their dogs.  After making my purchase, I gave them the money left over plus my allowance to buy some food.  They went inside and came back out with a box of dog food.




♥☆¨´`'*°☆.¸.☆¨´`'*°☆.
(:
․☆´`'*¸.☆¨´`'*°☆.․:)
`
☆.. ♥♥ HUGS ♥♥~ ¸☆
․ ․`'☆.¨´¸☆¨¸.¸.☆¨
․ ․ ․ ․ `'*☆.¸.☆puppy kisses! ♥     Wiggles and Wags!!!

10 Reasons Senior Pets Rule

If you’re fortunate, you have lived, or currently live, with an old dog or cat. As cherished companions, the old animals in our lives enrich our days for as long as we are privileged to have them. When senior pets are adopted, they seem to understand that they've been rescued, and are all the more thankful for it.

  1. A senior pet's personality has already developed, so you'll know if he or she is a good fit for your family.
  1. You can teach an old dog (or cat or other pet) new tricks. Senior pets have the attention span and impulse control that makes them easier to train than their youthful counterparts.
  2. A senior pet may very well already know basic commands anyway!
  3. In particular, senior pets are often already house broken, or can be more easily house broken than a young pet with a tiny bladder.
  4. A senior pet won't grow any larger, so you'll know exactly how much pet you're getting.
  5. Senior pets are often content to just relax in your company, unlike younger pets, who may get into mischief because they're bored.
  6. Speaking of relaxing, senior pets make great napping buddies.
  7. Senior pets know that chew toys (not shoes) are for chewing and scratching posts (not furniture) are for scratching.
  8. Senior pets are some of the hardest to find homes for -- so when you adopt a senior pet, you're truly saving a life.

I think Deborah Workman said it best, "There's nothing like an old dog.  Nothing like the love of an old dog.  The forgiveness, the devotion.  You see gratitude in their eyes.  It's just words until you experience it."

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF AN EXTREMELY DISTINGUISHED DOG

by Eugene O'Neill

I, SILVERDENE EMBLEM O'NEILL (familiarly known to my family, friends, and acquaintances as Blemie), because the burden of my years and infirmities is heavy upon me, and I realize the end of my life is near, do hereby bury my last will and testament in the mind of my Master. He will not know it is there until after I am dead. Then, remembering me in his loneliness, he will suddenly know of this testament, and I ask him then to inscribe it as a memorial to me.
I have little in the way of material things to leave. Dogs are wiser than men. They do not set great store upon things. They do not waste their days hoarding property. They do not ruin their sleep worrying about how to keep the objects they have, and to obtain the objects they have not. There is nothing of value I have to bequeath except my love and my faith. These I leave to all those who have loved me, to my Master and Mistress, who I know will mourn me most, to Freeman who has been so good to me, to Cyn and Roy and Willie and Naomi and -- But if I should list all those who have loved me, it would force my Master to write a book. Perhaps it is vain of me to boast when I am so near death, which returns all beasts and vanities to dust, but I have always been an extremely lovable dog.
I ask my Master and Mistress to remember me always, but not to grieve for me too long. In my life I have tried to be a comfort to them in time of sorrow, and a reason for added joy in their happiness. It is painful for me to think that even in death I should cause them pain. Let them remember that while no dog has ever had a happier life (and this I owe to their love and care for me), now that I have grown blind and deaf and lame, and even my sense of smell fails me so that a rabbit could be right under my nose and I might not know, my pride has sunk to a sick, bewildered humiliation. I feel life is taunting me with having over-lingered my welcome. It is time I said good-bye, before I become too sick a burden on myself and on those who love me. It will be sorrow to leave them, but not a sorrow to die. Dogs do not fear death as men do. We accept it as part of life, not as something alien and terrible which destroys life. What may come after death, who knows? I would like to believe with those my fellow Dalmatians who are devote Mohammedans, that there is a Paradise where one is always young and full-bladdered; where all the day one dillies and dallies with an amorous multitude of houris [lovely nymphs], beautifully spotted; where jack rabbits that run fast but not too fast (like the houris) are as the sands of the desert; where each blissful hour is mealtime; where in long evenings there are a million fireplaces with logs forever burning, and one curls oneself up and blinks into the flames and nods and dreams, remembering the old brave days on earth, and the love of one's Master and Mistress.
I am afraid this is too much for even such a dog as I am to expect. But peace, at least, is certain. Peace and long rest for weary old heart and head and limbs, and eternal sleep in the earth I have loved so well. Perhaps, after all, this is best.
One last request I earnestly make. I have heard my Mistress say, "When Blemie dies we must never have another dog. I love him so much I could never love another one." Now I would ask her, for love of me, to have another. It would be a poor tribute to my memory never to have a dog again. What I would like to feel is that, having once had me in the family, now she cannot live without a dog! I have never had a narrow jealous spirit. I have always held that most dogs are good (and one cat, the black one I have permitted to share the living room rug during the evenings, whose affection I have tolerated in a kindly spirit, and in rare sentimental moods, even reciprocated a trifle). Some dogs, of course, are better than others. Dalmatians, naturally, as everyone knows, are best. So I suggest a Dalmatian as my successor. He can hardly be as well bred or as well mannered or as distinguished and handsome as I was in my prime. My Master and Mistress must not ask the impossible. But he will do his best, I am sure, and even his inevitable defects will help by comparison to keep my memory green. To him I bequeath my collar and leash and my overcoat and raincoat, made to order in 1929 at Hermes in Paris. He can never wear them with the distinction I did, walking around the Place Vendome, or later along Park Avenue, all eyes fixed on me in admiration; but again I am sure he will do his utmost not to appear a mere gauche provincial dog. Here on the ranch, he may prove himself quite worthy of comparison, in some respects. He will, I presume, come closer to jack rabbits than I have been able to in recent years.
And for all his faults, I hereby wish him the happiness I know will be his in my old home.
One last word of farewell, Dear Master and Mistress. Whenever you visit my grave, say to yourselves with regret but also with happiness in your hearts at the remembrance of my long happy life with you: "Here lies one who loved us and whom we loved". No matter how deep my sleep I shall hear you, and not all the power of death can keep my spirit from wagging a grateful tail.